ReadingRoom

Third prize within the 2022 Sargeson Prize, described by choose Fiona Kidman as “humorous and fascinating”

Brendon Varney opens the entrance door. The pale mat affords him an upside-down welcome as he steps onto the patio along with his chin excessive. The fingers of his proper hand twist at his wedding ceremony ring.

After three paces, his dedication wavers. The sky is blue and cloudless, and on the fringe of the veranda he stops, squinting within the unfamiliar gentle. The scent from the climbing roses on the trellis—one crimson and one white—makes him giddy. He stares at his sneakers, takes gradual breaths in opposition to the pounding of his coronary heart.

Then he makes his approach down the steps and tiptoes alongside the trail. The grass on both aspect is as distant as the ocean churning on the base of a cliff. On the midpoint, the concrete bends and sways like a circus slackwire, so he reaches out his arms for steadiness. With fast, shuffling steps, he hurries for the protection of the gate. A remaining lurch and he grabs on the put up with each arms.

Exterior, the tarseal stretches huge and horrible in the direction of the row of flats throughout the highway. He focuses on the dust-streaked window of the Subaru within the carport. Then he shifts his eyes to the stone letterbox, his purpose for this expedition.

From the safety of his sofa, it had appeared far much less daunting. Simply come out and fetch the mail, he instructed himself. His cheque from the Lotteries Fee must be arriving quickly. His invitation to be visitor of honour at a civic reception for one thing or different, which he would gracefully decline. A postcard from Queenstown—flame-coloured willows on the banks of Lake Wakatipu, the Remarkables towering within the background—the place Suzie went to go to her cousin. “Having a beautiful time, want I used to be there.”

I sink to my knees on the carpet, fists clenched beside my head. Somebody whimpers.

*

“That’s a good complete,” mentioned Tony. “How a few pizza for the innings break?”

I muted the TV and squirmed within the beanbag. “You imply get one delivered?”

He rolled his eyes, peering down at me from the couch. “No, I believed we’d wander spherical to Spag’s for a margherita. In fact I meant supply, you prat.”

I let my head loll again. “Effectively, that’s all proper, then. However gained’t Jen be pissed for those who don’t get dwelling for dinner?”

Tony sighed and brushed his hand over his hair. “She’ll be pissed at me both approach. I’d relatively be right here.” He dug out his cellphone and positioned the order.

“Hey,” I mentioned after he ended the decision. “How come you all the time flip up right here when there’s a sport on?”

“Coincidence, mate, pure coincidence. I simply get pleasure from your scintillating firm.” He paused. “Plus she hates cricket.”

“Ha. I suppose I must be flattered that I’m your first alternative.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the fifth individual I attempted this afternoon, however each different bugger was out.” I flicked a bottle-cap at him, however missed. “No less than I do know you’ll be dwelling.”

“Hell, no, hectic social calendar, me. You have been fortunate to catch me in.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mentioned. “When was the final time you went anyplace? Perhaps I’m fortunate, although—each time I see you, my very own crappy life doesn’t appear fairly so dangerous.”

“Shut up. My life’s high-quality.”

I knew this to be false. I tilted my empty glass at him, raised my eyebrows. He jerked his chin in settlement, so I struggled to my toes and headed for the kitchen.

“Look on the intense aspect,” he known as. “When the following spherical of COVID hits, you’ve already bought a head begin on lockdown. Whereas we have been in Stage 4, did you even discover?”

“COVID? What’s that?” I opened the fridge. “What’s your fancy? IPA or brown ale?”

“No matter,” he yelled again. “Hey, Bren. Does that automobile of yours have a tow bar?”

Brendon Varney freezes like a dwelling statue, the information of his outstretched fingers resting on damp glass. “Positive.” His voice comes from the opposite finish of a protracted tube. “Don’t know if it’s nonetheless operating, although. I haven’t used it since—properly, for some time. You might need to alter the spark plugs, or recalibrate the thrusters, or no matter it’s you do.” From far, distant, I hear Brendon Varney making a joke.

The fridge door beeps, and the dwelling statue strikes once more. Its chilled fingers grip the necks of two bottles. It picks up the opener from the bench and flips off the tops. I carried the beers—Epic Hop Zombie—via to the lounge and handed him one. He poured it slowly, watching the froth froth as much as the rim of the glass.

“You’ll be able to borrow it any time,” I mentioned. I counted the bottles lined up on the ground beside the bookcase. “Effectively, possibly not tonight.”

He chuckled. “Nah, I’ll get an Uber tonight. However thanks.”

“So, why do you want it?”

“Oh, I simply must take some stuff to the dump,” he mentioned, rubbing his cheek along with his free hand.

I gave him the side-eye. He pretended to be engrossed within the silent specialists analysing the Kiwi bowling assault on the display screen.

“So what do you actually need it for?”

He began to argue, however then deflated. “Ah, fuck it. Yeah, I’ve discovered a spot out in Halswell. Little bit of a shithole, however there it’s. I’m transferring in on the finish of the month.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“Good factor we’ve bought loads of beer, then.”

*

I’m drawing. With a graphite pencil, I’m sketching the define with gentle strokes. On the left, an infinite conifer encroaching onto the footpath. This was my landmark, the place I might decelerate and switch my blinker on as I drove dwelling from work. Suzie dubbed it the bathroom brush tree. The reminiscence makes me smile. Then I bear in mind some extra, and I cease.

To the correct is the crimson brick church—St. One thing’s—that was used as a polling station for the final election. It should be early morning, as a result of there aren’t any automobiles. Often this stretch of the highway is full of mums dropping off or choosing up their youngsters on the Catholic major college subsequent to the church. Or maybe right now is a vacation. Typically I lose monitor of the times. I take into consideration including a automobile, a gray Subaru, however determine in opposition to it.

In my image it’s chilly, that quiet stillness that presages snow. If there was an individual on this drawing—Brendon Varney, for instance—he could be bundled up in his black padded jacket, arms deep in his pockets. However there aren’t any folks. It’s, in any case, a vacation.

And naturally, Brendon Varney shouldn’t be on this drawing. He’s in his home, hunched over the dining-room desk. Heartbreak music, his personal playlist, flows from the audio system. Maybe he can be drawing.

Within the centre of the web page, I’m drawing six letterboxes like little white hutches. They’re completely different from my letterbox. Considered one of them has misplaced its quantity. They serve the flats that line both aspect of a protracted driveway. The left flat on the again, that isn’t in my image as a result of I can’t see it from the road, that’s Marta’s.

*

I opened the door.

“Take this,” mentioned Marta, shoving a big Tupperware container into my arms.

I seemed on the dishes stacked on the veranda. Extra Tupperware, a casserole and two, no, three bottles of bubbly. 

“Um,” I mentioned.

“Is Christmas, ja?” She made shooing motions at me. “Now go, go. Earlier than will get chilly.” She picked up the casserole and herded me via to the kitchen.

“That is very type of you, Marta,” I mentioned, “however you don’t—”

“What, you busy, huge plans? You go on date, restaurant with fairly lady? Pfff.” She set the casserole on the stove-top. “Open wine, ja? Getting részeg at Christmas, previous Hungarian custom.”

She made one other journey to usher in the remainder of the meals. Then she named every dish as she positioned it on the bench. “Is fisherman’s soup, stuffed cabbage, rooster, cucumber salad, bejgli. Get desk prepared, OK?”

*

I took the china plates from the cabinet, those we stored for particular events. Rinsed two champagne flutes, dusty from lack of use, and poured our drinks.

“Egészségedre.” Marta seemed me within the eye and downed her wine in a single swallow. Then she waited till I did the identical. 

“This smells scrumptious,” I mentioned “However why?”

“Hnnn,” she shushed me. “You bear in mind my first Christmas right here? One week after I transfer in, two weeks after divorce from pungent bastard, each day crying, crying. Ja? Suzie, she knocks on my door, brings me right here. Feeds me beautiful meal, numerous wine, we begin laughing once more. You bear in mind? Even a gift she provides me. Suzie, good lady, angyal.”

Brendon Varney rearranges the knives and forks, staring on the desk. Unfolds a serviette and folds it once more. Marta adjustments the topic, tells him about her sister in Budapest.

“Gabi is physician, the way you say it, orthopaedic surgeon.” She giggles. “I bought the sweetness, she bought the brains, ja? Final 12 months her husband walked out on her, two children in class. Her boy, 15, is homosexual. Below Orban”—she makes a spitting face—“isn’t any life in Hungary. So I convey them right here. I can be sponsor.”

I clear my throat. “That’s nice. Will they reside with you?”

“Ja. Now I’m each day going to the Immigration, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. All in English, is killing me.”

“I may help you with that, for those who like,” I hear myself say.

Her face brightened. “Ja? Thanks. I convey papers tomorrow.” She topped up our glasses. “As we speak, we eat, drink, faux we’re not lonely. OK?”

*

The define of this image is already completed. Now I’m utilizing my 2B pencil to attract at the hours of darkness shadows, the trunks of the timber and the low picket fence. I’m buzzing, buzzing alongside to Rival Sons. They’re singing a haunting track about loneliness and loss. I take part on the refrain as I change to my H pencil to fill within the mid-tones.

It’s hotter right now. Maybe it’s early spring. I feel it’s spring as a result of there are buds on one of many timber within the park. I have no idea what sort of tree it’s, however I’m drawing the buds. It makes me glad that spring is coming.

Typically we’d stroll there, on this park. You want to look at the kids climbing on the jungle gymnasium. As soon as we had a picnic on the grass in the course of the rugby discipline, however the wind was so sturdy that it blew our sandwiches away. How we laughed.

Now, within the foreground, proper on the fringe of the body, I’m drawing Brendon Varney. I’m drawing him from behind, as a result of I’m not good at faces. I’m utilizing the faintest of traces, since he’s not positive if he needs to be there. Solely the again of his head is seen, and one shoulder. Maybe he’s going to the mall. Maybe he’ll buy groceries within the grocery store, pushing a trolley down the intimidating aisles. Maybe he’s assembly a pal in a Robert Harris café.

No.

I take my eraser and I rub out Brendon Varney. He’s nonetheless hiding in his home. I preserve rubbing on the nook of the web page till there may be solely a void the place Brendon Varney was.

*

“We’ve got bourbon.” Tony held up a jute bag in his left hand. “And we now have gin.” A striped bag in his proper. “What’s your poison?”

I leaned in opposition to the door body, cradling my espresso cup in entrance of my chest. As we speak I used to be consuming from Suzie’s mug. It was purple-blue, like a mallard’s wing, and valuable past rubies.

“Sorry, mate,” I mentioned. “I’m not likely within the temper right now.”

“Sure, you’re,” he replied as he ducked previous me. “You simply don’t realize it but.”

From the kitchen I heard a steel high being unscrewed, the hiss of fizzy drink. He returned with two tumblers and set the bottles on the carpet.

“It’s a house-warming. My warming, your own home. If the mountain gained’t come to Mohammed, Tony will come to the mountain, bearing booze and snacks and witty dialog. Oh, and I introduced your automobile again. The keys are on the bench. Thanks loads. Effectively, gumby.”

He clinked his glass in opposition to mine and gulped an enormous mouthful, gave a contented burp. I took a tiny sip. Then he scuffed off his footwear and sprawled on the couch.

“And until I’m very a lot mistaken,” he mentioned, “the one-dayer must be beginning any second now.”

I took one other sip, barely bigger. Then I jabbed the distant on the TV and lowered myself into the beanbag. An overcast McLean Park, a chyron saying the match had been delayed by a moist outfield, play anticipated to begin in 20 minutes.

“So,” he mentioned. “You haven’t requested me how the transfer went.”

I grunted. “How did the transfer go?”

“Nice. Dave gave me a hand, and it solely took a few hours. One benefit of getting bugger-all stuff, I suppose.”

“And the way was it? Your first night time within the new place?”

“Bloody sensible. I bought fish and chips, watched The Strolling Useless and was in mattress by 10.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I believed I’d be depressing, you realize, however I bought the perfect night time’s kip I’ve had in ages. Do you will have any thought how stress-free it’s not being bombarded with hate vibes from the opposite aspect of the mattress?”

“Can’t say I do.” I raised my glass to my mouth, found it was empty.

Tony drained his personal glass and refilled them each. Then he sat down once more, gazing out the window in the direction of the roses.

“As we speak’s her birthday, proper?”

Brendon Varney provides a good nod, makes a strangled noise that could possibly be interpreted as assent.

“I believed so,” mentioned Tony.

Brendon Varney stares on the TV. His imaginative and prescient contracts to a protracted, darkish tunnel. On the finish of this tunnel, certain with iron chains, lies his coronary heart. It’s pulsing, however barely.

*

In Robert Harris, within the chair at proper angles to his, there may be Suzie. She is resting her chin on one hand. In all probability they’re speaking—actually, he’s almost sure of it. The scent of her jasmine fragrance tickles his nostrils. He doesn’t inform her about his allergic reactions. He is aware of that he’s grinning, and he suspects that he appears to be like silly.

He’s waving his hand to make some level. As he does so, his arm knocks in opposition to his cup. Lukewarm latte sloshes throughout the picket floor, soaking his trousers. He pats frantically at his crotch. Suzie’s lips are clamped shut, however her eyes sparkle with amusement.

I’m sitting on the dining-room desk, and I’m drunk. Tony has gone dwelling in an Uber. The muscle mass of my cheeks ache, and I feel I can odor jasmine. I’m clutching a postcard. “Having a beautiful time, want I used to be there.” My hand waves to make some level. Lukewarm latte sloshes throughout my trousers.

Once more and time and again and time and again.

A hollowness varieties deep in my throat. I really feel it spreading via my physique. It consumes my tongue, my vocal cords, so I can’t cry out. It’s consuming my inner organs, beginning with my coronary heart. It eats me from the within, till I now not exist. All that continues to be is a limp go well with of flesh that was as soon as Brendon Varney, sitting on the dining-room desk.

*

I open the door. Marta appears to be like at my expression and her face goes slack. I give her a half smile, step again to let her in. She turns down my supply of espresso and we sit aspect by aspect on the dining-room desk. I fan the varieties out in entrance of us, click on on the Immigration New Zealand web site on my laptop.

“Is inconceivable, ja?” she says, squeezing her arms in her lap.

“Nothing’s inconceivable,” I say. “Nevertheless it’s not straightforward both. Look, these are the standards for being a sponsor. Citizen or resident, sure. Sufficient cash to cowl dwelling prices, like meals and healthcare, you are able to do that. Can present lodging instantly or not directly—you say that your sister will stick with you, in order that’s high-quality. Sufficient cash to pay for a return ticket to Hungary.”

She swats my clarification away. “Sure, sure, I do know all that. What’s the downside?”

I scroll up and drag the cursor to point out three traces.

“It’s this one. ‘Will need to have spent 184 days in New Zealand for every of the final three years.’ In your passport it says that you just have been in a foreign country from February to August final 12 months. Proper?”

“Sure. My mom, she was dying with the most cancers, so I went dwelling to be along with her. So?”

I look away, scratching my nostril. I didn’t find out about her mom. “Effectively, I did the mathematics. Final 12 months, you have been solely in New Zealand for 173 days. You’re 11 days quick.”

“So these 11 days, I can’t convey Gabi out?”

“Hmmm.” I faucet my pen in opposition to the desk. “You’ll be able to apply anyway, and possibly they’ll let it slide. But when they go by the ebook, then you definitely gained’t be capable of do it for an additional three years, till you meet this remaining situation.”

She launches right into a rumble of Hungarian. I have no idea if she is swearing or praying, so I simply watch for her to cease.

“I would love that drink now, please,” she says. “However not espresso. You’ve got vodka? A lot of vodka?”

*

I’ve by no means been to this division, so I cheat and use Google Road View. It’s on Hereford Road, inside an arcade. I will need to have walked previous it many instances earlier than. I’ve drawn a bookshop, a Burger Gas and a Robert Harris, although not my regular department. I’m utilizing my finger to mix within the charcoal on my drawing. I’ve wrapped a tissue round my finger. As we speak there is no such thing as a music.

Hereford Road is beneath restore. Site visitors has been lowered to a single lane, lined with wire-mesh fences. A yellow steamroller is parked to at least one aspect, and a number of other employees in hi-vis vests are clustered spherical a gap within the floor. Hereford Road, like me, is a piece in progress.

Now I’m taking my eraser stick and marking within the highlights. The curlicues on the bookshop signal, the solar glinting off a automobile windscreen, the stripes on the tops of the orange visitors cones. That is my favorite half, as a result of that is when the image comes alive.

Within the white house I draw Brendon Varney. He’s striding alongside the footpath, nearly to show into the arcade. He’s sporting a go well with. Maybe in actuality his shoulders aren’t fairly that broad, however he’s strolling with confidence and objective.

I have a look at my laptop computer to verify that I’ve bought it proper. My eyes flick from display screen to drawing and again once more till I’m happy. Then I shut my laptop computer and push it out of the way in which. As I achieve this, my sleeve brushes the paper. I’ve smudged Brendon Varney. Brendon Varney is a smudge.

I take up my pencil and eraser, and set to work to repair the injury.

*

I’m placing on my go well with, the one I preserve for job interviews and weddings. I’m not eager about the final time I wore it. I’ve ironed a white shirt, and my fingers bear in mind tips on how to tie the knot in my tie. Brendon Varney has polished my footwear till they shine.

I study my reflection within the bed room mirror. I look skilled, respectable, reliable. I don’t appear like a hermit, or a hermit crab. We don’t appear like somebody who has not left the home in over a 12 months.

Suzie would approve. “Who’s that good-looking stranger?” she’d say. “I might need to depart you for him.”

Brendon Varney’s appointment is for 9 o’clock. The lady on the opposite finish of the cellphone sounded shocked, however didn’t reject the concept out of hand. Maybe, if issues go properly, I’ll pop into Robert Harris afterwards for a flat white and a chunk of caramel slice.

For the fourth time this morning, I verify my briefcase. Passport and driver’s licence, financial institution statements to show that I’m solvent, final month’s charges invoice. Copies of all of the paperwork that Marta gave me. I’ve not instructed Marta of my plans. I don’t need to get her—his, my, our—hopes up.

I have a look at my watch once more. It’s time. I research my drawings unfold out on the dining-room desk. I pay explicit consideration to the drawing of Hereford Road. Brendon Varney strikes with confidence and objective. I choose up my briefcase and my keys. I open the entrance door.

I’m opening the door.

Brendon Varney opens the door.

“Brendon Varney Opens the Door” by Stephen Coates was positioned third place within the 2022 Sargeson Prize, New Zealand’s richest quick story award. From the judging remarks by Dame Fiona Kidman: “I discovered ‘Brendon Varney opens the door’ humorous and fascinating. The spouse of the male narrator has gone away and there’s a sturdy sense that she could not return. He contemplates his life, and loses himself in an alternate id, the place he turns into the profitable, attention-grabbing Brendon Varney. His mate comes round to crack a number of beers and morose jokes, the neighbour arrives with an issue for him to resolve. The dialogue is sustained, the characters ring true.”